Fear of Tonglen Meditation
Mental afflictions are energy experienced and labeled as problems. That same energy has great potential if blockages are cleared (vrtti-ed back) and re-labeled. The prana vayu located in the heart region when blocked is associated with fear and anger. So from this perspective it makes perfect sense that one would experience fear in tonglen, the associated mental block of the region where the visualization takes place. Prana vayu’s non-afflicted quality is Emptiness itself, or ultimate truth.
We say it like this: ultimately nothing has any qualities coming from its own side. If things had qualities in and of themselves, they could never change or function and everyone would experience them in exactly the same way all the time. It is easy to see that this is not the case, so we say they are lacking in essential qualities or ultimately empty. A water bottle, for instance is only apparent to me- a user of water bottles. For an ant the same object would be quite different. So the object I call a water bottle is lacking in water bottle-ness and that’s its emptiness. Emptiness is a negative phenomenon that can only be approximately described as direct knowledge of it is a non-conceptual meditative experience.
What governs the way things do appear to exist is the karmic imprints in the mind of the perceiver. So each individual’s karma forms their particular reality. For instance, because I am human when I look down at the end of the appendage coming from my trunk I see a hand instead of, say, a paw. Karma is called shin di kokyur in Tibetan- deeply hidden, which means that knowledge of the exact causes of karmic results are reserved for very highly-realized beings. Several of these beings have left texts for us to refer to and they are really interesting, but put very basically- we get what we give. So the way to be happy is to make others happy.
But can we really make others happy? If there were an omnipotent compassionate being by definition wouldn’t they have already taken away our suffering? Clearly even the most profound act of taking on the suffering of other beings- the Crucifixion for instance- doesn’t stop me from getting into a car wreck or loosing my parents. So how does tonglen work?
In one way of looking at it, suffering beings are the same as any other object in your world. They appear as they do according to your karmic imprints. Indeed the only world we can know is the one we filter thru our own mind. This doesn’t mean that others and their suffering aren’t real, just that we can’t assume that what we think others experience is something separate from our conception of them. And that’s the only dominion we have to work with; that is our reality. This is actually good news because it means that if we can change our conception we can literally change our world. So it’s not like tonglen will heal someone else or won’t heal someone else on its own, it requires good karmic imprints to see that happen in your world. But what kind of actions could you do that would give that kind of result? Tonglen!
It’s not that we are actually taking on the suffering of the other, we can’t presently do that. But the intention to do so is so powerful that it cuts thru our tendency to sustain ourselves above others, which is a concept that karmicly reinforces exactly what we don’t want- separation, loneliness, disconnection. The more you do tonglen meditation for someone else the stronger an imprint of selflessness you will make in your mind and the more open your heart will be until eventually it embraces all beings. Knowing what you are actually doing in tonglen (manipulating appearances) places another very powerful karmic imprint in your mind to see things as they truly are which will cut thru the source of all afflicted energies. As the Yoga Sutra says: yogas chitta vrtti nirodha- yoga ceases the way the mind turns things around. Implicit in this definition is the understanding that the way to relieve the suffering of all beings is to change the mind which is creating/ sustaining them by conceptualizing them as we do.
I also had a fear of tonglen when I first learned it. I told my teacher “I don’t think so, I’ve got enough problems of my own.” But it doesn’t really work the way we think it does. When we learn to wrap our conception of who we are around all beings (Tibetan Heart Yoga Series Eight) there is no fear or isolation, no negative consequence is possible. Serving others with an understanding of wisdom is the antidote for every kind of suffering!
Yoga Dependence
I like to teach in response to what students share with me, so I always welcome that. Recently a couple of students have expressed that they feel fantastic while they are in class but then they go out and get in their car, or interact with certain people or situations and it's like the whole thing goes out the window! This, I tell them, is just a matter of mental habit. There are two related phenomenon occuring here. Firstly, you probably went around feeling and acting that way all the time before but it didn't seem so terrible because you never had a reference for anything different. Now you do! So rejoice that you know the difference, and be happy that you have taken the first step toward real peace- awareness! And for goodness sake, compassion starts at home!
Secondly, sometimes doing goodness tends to 'stir up the demons.' I don't like to get too hokey-pokey about this, but there is a kind of negative force that seems to come about to obstruct progress. The explanation I like for this phenomenon is that once some part of you has made a committment towards happiness or spiritual growth, certain karmas that could have been major ripen quickly and in a more minor way; so even though they seem huge, they could have been worse. Again, rejoice! And pay attention to what they teach you about your abilities and progress. It equally does no good to blame some unknown, uncontrollable, external entity or to think it's a part of you that will never change. Work with the situation to the best of your current ability, keep striving to be better, and look out for the worst demon that comes up just after the first phenomenon where you start to be aware- it wants you to berate yourself! That part of you that doesn't want you to be happy? That's your enemy, wage war on that part by simply refusing those negative thoughts, be happy and determined to go further!
There are several yogic techniques you can use to train the mind out of old bad habits. Mantra means 'protection for the mind' and it is a useful tool for pacifying uncontrollable mental afflictions in the moment. For it to be effective it must be given to you by someone you feel to be very spiritually powerful and you must be watching your morality. The type of meditation where you watch the breath is also fantastic for pacifying the mind, and if practiced regularly will reduce stress and reactivity, and create greater awareness. But the kind of meditations we do in Tibetan Heart Yoga are specifically aimed at making a permanent change in the way we think about ourselves and others by focusing on a positive reconstructive image. Over time that image replaces the old ones that are based on past misunderstanding (and pain usually) and in my experience has been the only technique that has healed me and made me a happier person. Just try to focus well and give it time, it will work!
Disapproving of Other's Habits
A brilliant and dedicated student recently found herself disapproving of the habits of her friends. In this particular case she shared with me that their habits were not affecting her directly. I too have noticed things like this at times when my awareness of my own habits is deepening. And I believe she was politely asking if it is appropriate to give in to judgement. Which of course, it isn't. We have to remember that everything we see in ourselves and in our world is coming from our own past thoughts, words and actions. So the habits of others are just our own habits once removed. If we can protect them from hurting themselves or others by warning them, we must do so. But this takes a tremendous amount of skill and can backfire. So the majic pill for removing negative habits in others is to never do them yourself. In my own case, I see dependence on alcohol in my friends and family even though I haven't taken alcohol except ceremonally since 2005. And even at a yoga party I hosted they wanted to have alcohol. But to my great delight, of the 20 bottles or so that people brought, only two and a half were consumed! This I consider great progress and evidence that sticking to my guns despite pressure to do otherwise is working! Some day we'll see the end of negative habits by controlling the mechanism that is projecting that reality (ourself) and that is a tremendous protection for those we care about!
Returning to School
With the recent economic crisis many people find themselves returning to school. And for some it has been many years since they cracked open the books! This is another tremendous blessing-in-disguise of what we're all going thru with this new global shift. There is alot of scientific evidence that when it comes to the brain you have to use it or you'll loose it! Our vocations, no matter how challenging, emphasize a particular skill set. We can all benefit from doing something we're not good at once in a while, push our limits, grow and expand. Our yoga practice depends on this. And our ability to reach the higher goals of yoga depend on having a good mind! Sometimes we get so involved in our vocation that it becomes an attachment. Even in the case of a service where we are "really" helping others, and this can remove us from what should be our main focus- our own spiritual practice. Think how much more effectively we could serve others by fulfilling our individual potential! A strong spiritual life makes a happier person, someone more present to others. With ourselves full, our cup runneth over!
Baghavad Gita 7.3:
"There is barely one man amoung thousands who strives for perfection. And of those few who do try to achieve the goal, only the rare one recognizes me for who I really am."
I welcome your comments...